Holla at your girl!

Starting off a new blog is always awkward for me. It feels like a bad blind date where you're always nervous that you'll blurt out something embarrassing or offensive simply because you're thinking about how awkward it is.

So I've decided to just blurt out all my weird stuff (lie--I'm sure there will be more than I come up with here) because I seem to think that will help.

I enjoy crafting... not like decoupaging or scrap booking. The only time I've bought scrapbook materials is when I had to dress up shooters:

That's a mini bottle of Tequila as a pregnant lady

You can see why I might not be asked to document the cherished memories of anything. Unless of course you want to remember the time tequila and pregnancy collided, then call a girl! I can hook you up!

I don't decoupage because of something horrible someone did to my bathroom wall with lotto tickets. Word to the wise, don't decoupage lotto tickets to your bathroom wall because you will never get it off.

I also enjoy Pre-1945 propaganda pictures. I can't understand why anyone wouldn't, they're awesome... you learn that everyone has chlamydia and all the ways you're living life wrong!

I enjoy yelling at the radio too. Because I know they can hear me and I'm making some pretty important points. I'm pretty sure this is the first step on the way to letters to the editor and leaving hour long messages on the Coast to Coast answering machine. (I assume they have an answering machine somewhere in a creepy desert trailer but I don't know for sure...I'm still on the yelling at the radio step).

My hair hasn't been natural since 7th grade which was in the mid-90's...I had a perm and then my natural hair color was never seen again. Like Bigfoot, there are some blurry, unreliable photographs of my natural hair color's resistance. However, most experts believe those are a hoax. Right now, my hair is dark black but it's been blond, red, kind of purpley, orange, fire engine red and probably some colors in between.

I love wigs and glitter... if I wasn't already a woman, I'd probably be a drag queen. I am however fairly envious of career drag queens because they're getting paid to look and act like women. I almost always look like a woman! For free! At the very least, I look like a young boy with some serious hormone issues. Jealously aside, I do love drag queens.

So I don't know, that's like 6 or 7 things about me that probably have lead you to believe that I'm a fairly odd, possible alcoholic, propaganda loving weird chick and some of that is probably true. The point is, I've made my first move on my awkward first internet date known as my first post for this blog. Go me!